nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
