we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
