Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
