I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
