I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
