At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
