I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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