got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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