My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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