do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize