Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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