sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They have beer where we have blood.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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