After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All the doctor said was why
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
