I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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