how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize