No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
