I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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