This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
