your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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