How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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