Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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