thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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