moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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