I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
