don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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