Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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