I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
