i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
