She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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