i don't plan on having that self control this summer
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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