i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
