dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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