Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
