Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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