Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
