remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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