I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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