I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize