You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
