Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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