My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
