Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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