Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize