rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
