brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
