He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
