I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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