Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
