yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
