If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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