im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
