I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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