I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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