Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
