I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
