why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"