You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner