I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
