Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
