your thong is hanging out like whoa
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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