I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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